please wait

I really hate calling a company and having to wait in line to speak to the next representative. It's the worst. I do appreciate the places that give you an approximate wait time. The nice robot lady comes on the phone and says, "We appreciate your business. Please hold, and the next available agent will be right with you. Currently, the wait time is four...ty.. five minutes." You can hear her talking when you read this, can't you?

Finally, when I think it can't get any worse, someone finally picks up the line and asks how they can help you. I begin by telling them I need to make a change to something. They say sure and ask if I can hold for a minute while they look up my information. THEN WHAT WAS THE POINT OF ME GIVING MY INFORMATION IN THE BEGINNING OF MY CALL???? As I proceed to wait... the elevator music that I've been listening to for the past "four.. ty.. five minutes" starts up again.. and then all of a sudden, I hear the line ringing once more. "Thank you for calling, this is Mike, how can I help you?" WTF IS THIS??!?? So I say, "Umm.. I was just talking to someone and she put me on hold.. I don't know.. is there a reason she transferred my call?" He says in his middle eastern accent, "Uhh.. no ma'am. I do not know what you are talking about. My phone just ring, and I pick up. I do not know. Can I get your information please?"

It's just the worst. I hate calling in for support for whatever the reason. It's not customer support at all. It's customer stress!! It's... what can we do to make our customers never call in to complain? I hate it. And when the person is rude to you like you're wasting THEIR time when at least they're getting paid to wait.. it makes me even more upset because the truth is, they can be rude all they want. You're the one needing their help. Ugh. I hate it.

One time, I called in, and some lady told me I needed to be transferred to a different department. This was after I had waited on the line for nearly an hour. I said fine - I had no choice, really. So she transferred me to a help line for deaf people! I was thinking, "Now what did I ever do to this lady?" I had to hang up and call back. I was hoping and praying I'd get her on the line again, but it was a guy the second time around. I was so pissed.

Everyone hates telemarketers, so why do they exist? Really, why? Sometimes, it's kind of scary to get these calls. You never know who it is. There is a slight pause on the line, some static, and then a "Can I speak to the head of the household?" *shivers* Do companies actually make any money from these tactics? Is there really a profit? I propose to make this world a better place by getting rid of this job position completely.

Jerry Seinfeld had an episode when one of these telemarketers called his apartment. He picks up and tells the guy he can take his home number and call him back when he has time. Then he says, "Oh? Why not? You don't want me to call you at home? Well, now you know how I feel." One day, I've been waiting for the day to use this line.

time after bloody time

Purple told me today, "You know how when people break up and they tell you that you just need more time? Well, I think you've had enough time already."

How much is enough? Is enough enough? I wish there was some kind of relationship calculator that I can punch in the dates to give me how much time is needed to "get over" someone.

(Amount of time together) x (# of times you said I Love You) = time needed to get over it
(Amount of time dating) _ _(# of times/lies he said I Love You)

Don't forget to make sure the unit of time is consistent.

well well well... if it isn't...

Oh wait.. it's me. I'm sorry, everyone. I know it's been a while, but I'm back. Where and why I've gone so long? I don't know if I have it in me to explain. Just know that I'm sorry for the extended absence, and I will try not to let it happen again. If it's any consolation at all, I've very much missed you too.

So many things have happened, and at the same time, not much has happened at all. When was the last time I wrote? GEEZ... APRIL??!?!! If you're still reading this, you're my new bestfriend.

Updates from my January 26 entry:

1.) Study for the GMATs (I know, I know, I've been saying this forever now. Seriously this time) - check! erase... check! erase... slooowly checking again...
2.) Run at least 3 times a week - check! i was doing this for a long time. i've only stopped for the last month and a half now.. but i'm starting up again... this one wasn't so hard
3.) Go geocaching - pending
4.) Build a potato gun - pending
5.) Visit a Texas winery - check and check!
6.) Plan a deep sea fishing trip - check!
7.) Read almost every night before bedtime - sort of checking!
8.) Fish and go camping as many times as possible - didn't happen. try again in the fall
9.) Figure out if it's Houston or Austin for the next year - check! Austin wins!
10.) Learn more soup recipes - too hot for soup right now
11.) Learn French - no, but my Vietnamese is improving!
12.) Save more money - this is a big one - EPIC FAIL
13.) Drink less alcohol - check! very proud of this one
14.) Improve my piano and guitar skills - i need a new guitar
15.) Take an informal class at UT - not yet

Not too bad, I don't think! :) Obviously, the expectations I've set for myself are not that high.

Ok what else... so let's see. I've moved apartments... again... and I'm now living with Nurse. She's a doll. I love her very much. The apartment is great except for our elephant neighbors upstairs. I've gotten accustomed to the stomping, and it's only when people say, "Is that thunder outside?" that I realize they're being loud again. Maybe we deserve it since we called the fire department on them the first weekend we moved in because we smelled smoke in our apartment. But seriously, who turns on their fireplace in the middle of July? In TEXAS?!? Crazy bastards.

Saying the word "bastards" makes me want to speak in an English accent. That's my new thing these days. I don't know why. But even as I'm typing, I'm saying these words with an accent in my head. Don't deny it. I know you're doing it too now. It's bloody addicting, isn't it? I can't stop! I went to Austin Park n Pizza the other day and spoke with a British accent nearly the entire time. A girl came up to me and said, "I love your accent! Where are you from?" Caught off guard and slightly embarrassed (only slightly), I told her, "Ooohhh, I'm from London! Well, I'm from a lovely little town outside called.. uhh... Notting Hill! Have you heard of it?" I was probably red in the face, but sometimes, you just get so caught up in something so stupid, that it'd be even more stupid to try to turn back around. Luckily, she bought it. Unluckily, she kept talking to me. I made up some dumb story to excuse myself.

Gosh, I'm so lame. See? Some things never change. It's good to have you back, friends! Even more so, it's good to be back! Stay tuned!

is this a scam???

I just got this email.

Twilight movie is now casting‏

From:
www.talenthunter.com (notify@talenthunter.com)
Sent:
Tue 4/07/09 9:44 PM
To:

Hello, jas119
We are glad to inform you that member hjcasting sends you a message!

Username: hjcasting
Profile Type: Industry Professional
City/State: Hollywood, CA
View Profile: http://talenthunter.com/hjcasting

Message:
I would like to inform you that you match the criteria to be a movie extra for the new Twilight movie. Twilight is now casting Austin Talent for this nationwide casting. I took a look at your profile and I think you would be a great match for this project. This is a great opportunity whether you are a fan or just want to get some experience for your resume. The best thing about this particular casting is that there is no experience needed and you already match the criteria for submission. Please contact me so I can help with your submission for this project. I will be here every step of the way to make sure that you get the help and support you need to give you the best shot at actually landing this gig. I look forward to working with you and await your response.


So, is this a scam? In order for me to respond to him, I have to upgrade my account with TalentHunter by paying $3. Is it worth paying that much to find out if it's a scam or not? Ahhh.. I don't know what to do! Help!!

easy come, easy go

Lately, I've been having trouble thinking of topics to write about. Usually when I've written in the past, it's because I feel strongly about something. Recently, I guess I haven't really felt strongly about anything. In a way, I think that's good! I think it's progress. And I think that I've just become less stressed and less worried about things. All in all, I think I've just been happy. I haven't really let things bother me much recently, and all the "drama" and emotional stuff that happens just slides right off these days. It doesn't affect me half as much as it used to in the past. Given, I never really had to deal with all that stuff before, and once I did, I didn't know how to handle or react to it!

Anyway, I guess what I'm trying to say is that I haven't been writing a lot because I've been busy being happy. Just doing the things that are making me happy and fulfilling those goals I had written about a few posts back.

In fact, once my mindset changed and once I started doing things to make myself happy, I noticed a huge transformation in the people around me as well. I feel almost as good as I used to a couple years ago, only this time, my happiness isn't dependent on another person. Once I established this for myself, it was just as people told me. Things started to fall into place, and just when I least expected it, I met someone who has potential to be more than just a someone. If I met this person a year ago, I'd probably be crazy excited and giddy over him waiting for the minute he calls or writes. But after everything I've been through, after all the hurt, and the waiting, and the tears, I know to read the "PROCEED WITH CAUTION" sign and test the dangerous waters before I jump in head first. And let's be honest. We all know I've been known to nose-dive into some pretty shallow pools. Just imagine the head trauma I've had to go through! Maybe it's timing? Actually, a lot of it is probably timing. But if you were one of the hundreds that told me everything happens for a reason, I think I've just found my reason. My reason for going through what I did in the last two years and everything else. The difference now, though, is that if it doesn't work out, I know I'm going to be just fine afterwards. This mindset, this tiny change in thinking, surprisingly plays a huge difference. It's liberating, and it's reassuring. And in some strange way, it's comforting.

Whatever happens will happen. In any case, I'm in a good place, and I can't wait to see what's in store for me. I promise I will write again soon.

to pee or not to pee

Is it strange to go to the bathroom, sit in a stall, and talk to someone in another stall? Usually, I'd only feel comfortable doing this with a close friend. Earlier today, though, an acquaintance walked in, and while she was using the bathroom (thank goodness it was just #1), she asked me a question. I had just started doing my own business, and I quickly thought, "Do I wait until after I'm done? After I flush? No, if I wait after the flush, it's too long. What do I do, what do I do?" So I just started talking. And then I realized I had to talk louder in order for the sound to overpower the... waterfall noise. It was so weird. When I get nervous, I start to ramble, and it just turned into a really awkward bathroom experience. We got out of the stalls, and she just kept talking to me. Is this normal? I wonder if they have a book on bathroom etiquette or if you're just supposed to already know these things.

zoey

My friends went to NY this week and left little Zoey in my care. She is a tiny shihtzu dog that doesn't look far from an Ewok. I've been having so much fun with her. She is so cute. I love that she gets super excited every time I come home, and in the morning, she immediately wants to play when I wake up. I love her. I've grown quite attached to her already, and it will be difficult to let her go on Monday when my friends get back.

Having her around makes me wonder if I should get a dog myself. Probably not. Although she's a lot of fun, she's given me an idea of how much extra responsibility I'd need to have to maintain a dog. She's a lot of work! Is the companionship worth it? I don't know. Sometimes I feel like it is. Despite her petite size, I feel safer when she's around. With all these crazy emails I'm receiving from my family, any dose of comfort is greatly appreciated.

It's a perfect weekend to have Zoey around. My roommate is gone, so with Zoey at home with me, I'll feel at ease. Sometimes, I question how independent I can truly be.

future sex/love cards

There's a girl at work who claims to read Tarot cards. It's a hobby, she says. I always thought of it more as a gift, a skill, that people are born with. Yes, I believe in supernatural powers. I mean, not anything extreme like flying or whatnot. But I believe in sixth senses. Or people being more in tune with a different world other than our own. I think anything is possible.

Everyone in her department made fun of her, and they all said they would never get their cards read. I just happened to be walking by (I have a gift of showing up at the wrong place at the wrong time), and they called me over. After poking fun at her and saying no one in their right mind would ever get their cards read unless they were crazy or desperate, I said, "I would." They all kind of stopped laughing and turned to me. So naturally, they challenged me. "You'd really get your future read to you? What if you found out that you're going to die tomorrow?" they asked. I just said, "Well, then I'd better do everything I want to do today." They started taunting me and saying that I was full of it. I wasn't! I just felt sorry for the girl!

Okay, normally if given the choice, I wouldn't do this. I don't know if I believe in it, but in any case, I don't really care for it. Ignorance is bliss, if you ask me. I'm not opposed to it, I just choose not to associate myself with it. I'm not superstitious. Just a little-stitious.

She got really happy and excited and said she'd bring in her cards this week. Well, she brought them today. I have my first tarot reading at 4pm. Am I excited? A little bit, I suppose. Am I scared? Hell to the yeah. I have to keep my game face on.

I wonder what kind of things she's going to say. I think I can request no bad news, right? Then again, wouldn't I want to know if something bad is going to happen to me? No, I don't think I do. But then would I be able to prevent it? Probably not. No, I shouldn't ask. Hmm.

On another note, I have an old high school friend who I've been keeping in touch with fairly closely over the years. We don't communicate on a regular basis, but when we do, it's always good conversation. He's easy to talk to, and it's always simple for us to just pick up from where we left off. Anyway, we exchanged emails earlier this week. Nothing too straying from the norm. Just catching up on the news in our lives. But then, at the end of his letter, and I had to do a double take on this small paragraph, he asked if I would be interested in being his... friend with benefits?

Now, I wasn't quite sure what this meant. I've heard the term many times since high school, and I wasn't really clear as to the definition. I thought it could range from being friends that make out, hold hands, and do all that bf/gf stuff without having the title. Meaning, messing around without strings attached. I got the second part right, but apparently, FWB involves sex. Actually, it's only sex.

How bizarre! At first, I was taken aback. And then, I was flattered. And then, I was thinking what kind of person he must think I am! And then, I actually considered it for a moment. First off, I'm not a really sexually-driven person. In fact, I was never really able to wrap my mind around how guys think about this subject all the time. Is this true? I've only heard. Though this type of thing is usually out of my normal realm of activities, I am the type, however, to definitely be open to new experiences, and this, my friends, would definitely be an interesting experience. However, after not too much thought, I knew it would be emotionally impossible for me not to get invested into a relationship with him. I ask myself, though, why I'm not able to draw the line between relationships and just pure, unadulterated, fun with no obligations? It's like asking someone, if you had to read "Jane Eyre" and write a 5 page paper about rising feminism during the Victorian era or just watch the movie, which would you do?

See, I'm the nutso who always preferred reading the books. Summer Towel told me yesterday that every scenario he's ever given me, I've always been the exception. Is this good or bad?

I wrote my friend back this morning. I must admit, it's still a bit strange to me. Why me of all people? Just because I'm single? I don't know. I never could have seen it coming. I wonder if any Tarot cards could have predicted that.

march madness

I'm on a workout craze. I've made a pact with a coworker to eat less and workout more. I've been pushing myself to the limit and overexerting my strength. I've drained a lot of energy and forced my way up inclines. It's so hard to work towards that point where you feel excited to work out. In the beginning, it's more like an obligation. It's more like a chore. A hassle. After days and days of working, I was about ready to give up. I didn't think I'd ever feel excited to work out like I did a couple years ago. But, I finally passed the hump. And boy, it feels good.

My schedule:
Monday - easy run 25 min
Tuesday - cross training, yoga
Wednesday - easy run 25 min
Thursday - running drills with trainer
Friday - rest
Saturday - long run 45-55 min
Sunday - cross fit training

The only bad thing that's come of this so far is that I have very little time for my friends nowadays. It sucks, but I guess this is my first step towards being selfish and making time for myself. I've done so many things for so many people that sometimes I wonder what's the point? My parents were right when they said, "When it all comes down to it, the only person that's going to matter is you." I wish they weren't right about this. But, everyone has their own life to worry about. This is true. I thought for a long time that I'd always have my friends no matter when I need them. I do, but nowadays, it's only when they have time. No one's fault. It's inevitable. So to pass time on my own, I resorted to running.

So, I'm sorry to those I don't have much time for anymore. I promise you're still important to me. I just really need this right now.

"Run.. running all the time.. running to the future.. with you right by my side..."

thinking out loud

Selective memory: does this exist? Can people pick and choose what they want to remember? There are so many things I wish to remember and maybe even more things I wish I didn't. I started thinking about this, and I wonder how people remember things better than others. And it's interesting how sometimes people remember things differently. Very strange.

This past weekend, the topic of wisdom teeth amongst my friends was brought up. Patty Cakes had just gotten his taken out, and this fueled the subject of the importance of these sets of teeth. SweetNSour said she read somewhere that when we were cavemen (this assumption supports the evolution theory, of course), we needed our wisdom teeth more at that time because our molars weren't enough to break down the type of food we needed to eat. They didn't have tenderizers or knives to help cut anything. As technology advances, the breakdown of food became easier, and centuries later, these wisdom teeth became nonfunctional. Since we don't need them as much (if at all), our body adapted to this change.

In fact, this concept applies to other parts of the body as well, like your muscles. It seems that as we use less of something, that part of the body becomes dispensable. If this is true, then I'm a little worried. Here's why.

Technological advances are exceeding at a rapid rate. Every month, there's a new gadget or invention that supersedes its predecessor in order to make our lives much easier. What does this mean? It means we can get more out of less work. There are jokes all the time about people wasting their lives away in front of a computer. And not just the computer! That iPhone is really changing people's lives, I hear. Between Outlook and PDAs and mini computer phones, we have no excuse to slack off, and yet, it seems like we do. These gadgets are meant to enhance our knowledge and work productivity, and somehow, it seems like they're doing the exact opposite. Obesity is increasing, and social skills are becoming less prevalent (online social networking via facebook and/or myspace, on the other hand, is skyrocketing). So I wonder, all this storage space we use to help remind us about certain events, keep our photos, manage our time, is all this helping or hurting us? As we depend more and more on electronics, we use less and less of our minds, our memory in particular.

So I wonder, as we rely our memory more on technology, is it possible for a particular part of our brain to become obsolete? Will the term "fading memory" take a literal turn? And finally, in regards to evolution, what will happen if we begin to utilize our brains significantly less than we already do? If it can happen to wisdom teeth, can't it happen to brain cells?

Time to crank up my mind exercises even more so than usual.

star-studded weekend

I started off the weekend in Dallas for Momma Mia's birthday. As expected, it was a ridiculous amount of fun. What Noslen pointed out to me, which is totally true, is that every time BHF (Big Happy Family.. the name we've given our group of friends) gets together, there's usually a theme. This is nice because it's an easy way to remember each weekend. This past weekend's theme was "studs." Someone bought a deck of provocative male playing cards, and throughout the entire night, people were getting "studded" everywhere. To be "studded" is to have a card placed onto your body and/or clothing without you noticing. It's a pretty sly maneuver and has to be handled with great care and skill.

Overall, it was a good weekend. I ended it back home watching the Oscar's with good friends and making tacos. It was fun. I love watching the red carpet.

Not the greatest entry, but that's all I have to say at the moment. I just found out that Mr. Perfect just got engaged. I have no reason to be sad because I really am happy for him. But, what is this feeling?

if you could hear me

Can you believe we're 25? Happy birthday. I still love you.

will i ever be cool?

There's a Gwen Stefani music video that really hits close to home for me. I've seen it a long time ago even when I was with him, but now that I'm not, I can relate to it much more. Every time I watch it, it still makes my heart beat a little stronger. I wonder if I'm ever going to get to this point. Will I ever be able to see him with someone else? How would he feel if I was with someone else? Who will get into another relationship first? Can I even imagine myself married without him? I don't know. I don't know if I can ever feel this way towards him. I keep saying I wish we were still close friends, but this video gives me doubts. I don't know if I could do it.

"And I'll be happy for you
If you can be happy for me
Circles and triangles
And now we're hanging out with your new girlfriend
So far from where we've been
I know we're cool"

craig, you never cease to amaze me

I thought I knew everything about Craigslist, but apparently I don't. I've discovered a new section, and I must say, I'm obsessively addicted.

http://austin.craigslist.org/mis/

In this section, people post up instances where they meet a guy/girl in the most random places, and either as a shot in the dark or a shout into the dark, they confess their attraction, interest, or even the "L" word. It's so funny! My friend, Pete Dawgg, who's an officer in Austin, arrested someone the other day, and the girl posted an ad for him saying that she wished they had met under different circumstances because he's hot. Haha! Imagine that! His coworker found the ad, and his wife (my coworker) forwarded it to me. I was hooked. I went through and read almost all of today's. It's really entertaining.

I wonder if anyone's ever written one for me. If they did, I wonder where I was. Or who it was. Or what I was doing. I could name a couple of people I would write about. What are the odds of that someone reading it?

i think i lost it

These are my confessions *cue Usher song*:

1.) I was talking to my dad, and I was this close to asking him to send me flowers to my office on Valentine's Day because one of my favorite things in the world is to receive flowers at work regardless of what time of year it is. It makes me feel special! Then, I realized Valentine's Day is on a Saturday, so it would have been pointless.

2.) When I run, I like to quietly chant, "Skinny... skinny... I'm gonna be skinny..."

3.) I kept two text messages from him since last year as proof to myself. One said, "Lol I do love you." The other said, "Please don't be sad over me. I'll always love you." They were dated last year in February 2008. And now, I can't find either of them since I switched phones. I am really, really sad.

is it "mangos" or "mangoes"?

Just a random question that's been bothering me.

I heard the clip of Captain Sullenberger right before his plan landed in the Hudson River. Chills ran like electricity through my arms when I heard his last statement, "We're gonna be in the Hudson." I can't imagine staying calm in a situation like that. And the air traffic controller?? Forget about it! I would've been freaking out yelling, "WHAT? ARE YOU CRAZY?!?!? You're going to land in the WATER???!?" Throughout the course of my life (and this just goes to prove my fickle nature), I've wanted to go into a number of different professions. One day teacher, the next day astronaut. It was really troublesome in college. However, I can safely say that I have never wanted to be an air traffic controller or pilot. Thank you, Captain Sullenberger, for reaffirming that decision.

I've become really close (and I'm afraid nearly attached) to someone over the phone. It scares me. From past experiences, whenever this happens, the guy eventually disappears, and the relationship, that closeness, we built is lost. It always saddens me, and I always wonder, "What's the point?" What's the point of sharing your secrets and dreams with someone who you feel will become a huge part of your life when eventually they will leave you too? And, I mean this all in a platonic level. It makes me wonder if guys and girls can really be friends. Like, is it possible for me to ever find a guy who would be really close to me on a friendly/brotherly level even after he gets a gf or even after I get a bf? So far, I'm starting to think it's not.

I really like talking to him. He's a breath of fresh air from the all the seriousness around me. It's possibly because he's a little younger, but it already seems like he has the weight of the world on his shoulders. We have fun. He's lively and loud and totally unlike other guys I've talked with on the phone. It's entertaining to me. He's different and unreserved and I like it. I'm really enjoying where we're at in our friendship. I hope it lasts, and I hope he genuinely likes talking to me rather than just using me to pass time until he finds someone else. I'm terrified of this.

Anyway, I'm rambling now. It looks to be a beautiful weekend in Austin. No plans. Just taking it day by day.

when life gives you lemons, just say 'pluck the lemons,' and bail

Sooo... I don't think I got the job at Plucker's. I'm a little sad about it. I suppose it's okay. I know I already have a job, but still, I can't help but feel disappointed. I guess it's not meant to be. This means I may be able to go to Dallas to celebrate my cousin's birthday after all! I suppose you can't have the cake and eat it too. By the way, is everyone familiar with that expression? Because I could've sworn it makes no sense. ;)

Anyway, I'm a little discouraged to apply to more places. It will be hard to work additionally with my schedule, but we'll see what happens. I just need to budget, right?

On another note, Danimal sent me this comic strip and said me it reminded him of me.



I thought it was cute. I think I can name myself a few "statistically significant others."

Valentine's Day is coming up, and I think my plans are more exciting than even some couples' plans! I know everyone gets all grumpy when it comes to this holiday saying, "It's not even a real holiday. It's made up by Hallmark.." blah blah blah... but I LOVE it! I know, I know. I'm too much of a romantic, but I've just had really great Valentine's Days in the past. I have fond memories of it. It does make me sad that I won't get to spend it with a certain someone anymore, but I'm totally and crazy happy that I'll get to spend it with soulmate. She's coming down, and I already have the entire weekend and more planned for us. I can't wait!!!

international klutz

I was thinking this morning, and I realized something I feel is a little strange. I've never made an international call in my life. I already get nervous when punching in long numbers over the phone to cable or credit card companies. Something about messing up in the middle of the number without the ability to back track and having to start all over freaks me out. It's like fishing for your wallet in your gigantic purse at the checkout counter with 5 people waiting behind you staring and wondering why you didn't get your money out in the first place. It's nerve-wracking!

At work, we have to dial "9" first, and we received an email earlier this year about people misdialing "9-1-1" to call internationally. Apparently, this happens frequently. It's been a fear of mine since I was young to accidentally dial 911. The serious tone on the other side of the emergency line totally scares the bejeezus out of me.

Just another work fear. My number one fear is accidentally hitting "Reply All" and sending out an excruciatingly embarrassing email to the entire company. I've already slammed into a glass door. What could I possibly do next?

mother plucker

I'm broke. Not like MC Hammer broke, but more like college student broke. Somehow, I work and work and work, and I can't manage to save as much money as I would like. How is this possible??

2008 was a bad year for me. It was just one thing after another. I don't understand it. My parents keep saying I need to cut back on spending, and I feel like I do, but maybe I just don't see it. I've stopped going out, and despite what they think, I turn down a lot of invitations to go do things. Why is it that it's not enough?

It's like I've sidetracked and can't seem to find my way back on the right path. That seems to be the theme of my life recently. In finances, in relationships, in work. I feel like I'm in a hole and can't dig myself out. I just keep falling deeper and deeper.

Anyway, to help remedy the dilemma, I decided to take on a second job. I suppose I don't necessarily need it, but I think if I could make some extra cash here and there, it would help me a lot. Plus, it'll keep me from going out and spending. In addition, the recession seems to be getting worse, so if I can rake in some side dough to save up, it would come in very handy.

I applied to Plucker's Wing Stop a couple weeks ago. They called me back for an interview, and I went in yesterday. I was a little nervous. I'm not sure why. Sunny D pointed out that I already have a job, so if it didn't work out, no biggie. I suppose that's true, but I guess the thought of being rejected from a buffalo wing joint made me a little uneasy. Overall, I felt it went well, but what do I know? Interviewers have a conniving way of making you feel like you got the job when in actuality, they never even plan on calling you back. We'll see what happens.

Plucker's. Of all places. Don't get me wrong, I love the place. But it's a little ironic seeing as I don't eat meat. I guess that's a good thing. If I did, I'd probably be eating wings every day I work, which would not be good and would totally kill #2 on my list of things to accomplish this year (see previous blog). I'm excited, though. It looks like a fun place to work, and the pace will be a lot different than here at work. I've always wanted to be a waitress, and here is my chance. I'm all about experiencing new things. Hopefully, this all goes as well as it is in my head. Knowing me and my clumsiness, it probably won't. Stay tuned for updates. Wish me luck!

woulda coulda shoulda

I know four people who have birthdays today. Happy birthday to these friends.

One of the people is an old college buddy. I flipped through some of his pictures, and I saw photos and photos of him and his longtime gf experiencing all kinds of new things in all sorts of new places. It made me reflect on myself and miss my old life. It made me think of him.

I know the only times I've written about him were the times I've been upset or felt alone. I try not to think about it, and I don't mean to paint him in a certain light. He really was a good guy. If he wasn't, I would've forgotten about him a long time ago. We enjoyed really good times, and we did so many things together. I feel that sharing those new experiences was what made our relationship so strong. It's tough to look at old pictures of our first trip together or our first concert together or our first anythings together. You always remember your firsts. You always remember the places you visited. You always remember the things that belonged to the both of you.

It gets easier to forget. Maybe not necessarily "forget," but easier to stow away for a while. I keep stowing away these memories in easy-to-reach places. I've never been a good hider.

When it was good, it was fantastic. We shared so many similar interests which made it easy to decide on what to try next. He knew how to always make me smile even when I was extremely upset. He kept me laughing for so long. Things were simple. Life was comforting to know I had someone by my side no matter what.

Birthdays are coming and going, and everyone has a significant other to share it with. Even if all their friends have plans and can't make it to celebrate, I know the feeling of being content with at least your boyfriend there with you. Sometimes, I used to feel that was all I needed.

That's probably the only thing I don't remember how to feel anymore.

let's try it again

January has been a bad month for blogging it seems. It just hasn't been on my mind to blog. Nothing terribly interesting has happened yet. I celebrated my 25th. Hooray. I celebrated lots of 25ths, actually. And I celebrated a few 1st birthdays, too! Lots of January birthdays. Makes me wonder why people get so bored in April...

I wonder what JT has been up to these days? He's been pretty low key.

I've been getting nightmares recently. I haven't had once since my old apartment. Strange. I wonder what's going on in that crazy subconscious of mine. I've been staying over at the Three Stooges' place almost every day, and it's starting to get exhausting. I think for the next couple weeks, I'm going to stay at mine. I've been behind on so many things. One, I have to take down my Christmas decor (as my roommate so kindly has reminded me on the while erase board in the kitchen). Two, I have never-ending loads of laundry to conquer. Three, I need to start studying. Scratch that, number three should actually be number one on my priority list. Four, I need to start running again. The weather's getting nicer for this. I'm excited to start this back up again.

The first month of the new year is coming to a close, and in fact, today is the first day of Chinese New Year! Aka... in case you got a bad start on resolutions the first time around, here's your second chance.

I have a list of things I need/want to do this year. Please help me stay motivated to acheive it all.

1.) Study for the GMATs (I know, I know, I've been saying this forever now. Seriously this time)
2.) Run at least 3 times a week
3.) Go geocaching
4.) Build a potato gun
5.) Visit a Texas winery
6.) Plan a deep sea fishing trip
7.) Read almost every night before bedtime
8.) Fish and go camping as many times as possible
9.) Figure out if it's Houston or Austin for the next year
10.) Learn more soup recipes
11.) Learn French
12.) Save more money - this is a big one
13.) Drink less alcohol
14.) Improve my piano and guitar skills
15.) Take an informal class at UT

I think that's good for now. Maybe I'll think of more later.

Man, it's exhausting just looking at the list. Well, here goes nothing. Wish me luck.

not again.. dear god.. not again..

Really? Really, 2009??

Why, God??? Why? Why is it every time I feel he's almost nearly out of my life, something happens to bring him back? Is it a test? Please, tell me. This is ridiculous. EVERY TIME! I'm not ready! Stop testing me!!

I met someone that I really like. And things started going well. And then things started going not so well. And before I'm even able to try to figure out why things aren't going the way I want them to, a bomb is dropped, and I'm left trying to pick up the scattered pieces that were blown up everywhere. It's not that I want him back. I don't. Not anymore. Not after everything he's put me through. But why is it that I still feel he's my foundation? That I can't accomplish anything without him? Why is it that I still feel like I need him? WHY DOES THIS KEEP HAPPENING??!??!

And why is it that when I hear his voice, everything that I've worked for, everything I've tried to run away and move on from, all of it comes crashing down right on me, as if he knows what I'm doing at every second of the day?

God, help me. Please. I can't do this anymore. I just can't. I just can't. I just can't.

"i just cant believe you're gone
still waiting for morning to come
when i see if the sun will rise
in the way that you're by my side
when we had so much in store
tell me what is it i'm reaching for
when we're through building memories
i'll hold yesterday in my heart

they can take tomorrow and the plans we made
they can take the music that we'd never play
all the broken dreams, take everything
just take it away, but they can never have yesterday

they can take the future that we'll never know
they can take the places that we said we would go
all the broken dreams, take everything
just take it away, but they can never have yesterday"

age is just a number, mrs. robinson

Sorry, friends. I've been so bad at keeping up with blogging recently. A lot has been going on!

My birthday is coming up! Aaaah!! A quarter of a century years old. Since I turned 21, what have I been doing?!? Lots of January babies this month!

I've been having these stomach pains for the past few weeks now every time I eat. It's weird! I hate going to the doctor, and I'm just kind of waiting it out to see what happens. I've had a combo of allergies, a cold, and a fever in the last three weeks. Throw a stomach ache on top of all that, and it's nothing!

Out of concern for me, my friend decides to look up my symptoms online to try to figure out what I have. We turn to the reliable webmd.com for all those people who are either too lazy or too afraid to go to the real doctor themselves (I fall into both categories). My friend starts to fill out this form and answers all the questions needed for my profile. Sex, race, age... He clicks "18-24," looks over at me, and then says, "Oh wait, you're 25 next week." So, he changes the age range to say "25-34," and I start to flip. Holy moly. I'm not in the 18-24 age range anymore! Why would they do something like that?!? Why don't they just put the teens in one category, and the 20s in another! Is there some sort of physical change that's supposed to happen to my body between the ages of 24 and 25? I start freaking out.

Sigh.. 25. A quarter closer to a century. It sounds old, but I know I'm going to look back 5 years from now and wish I was turning 25 again. So, bask in this moment, right?

This morning, another friend of mine wrote to me, "Remember when you feel like it's going downhill after 25... it is true." Hahahaha. Whatever. He's already way at the bottom of that hill. Only a matter of time before I am, too.

Speaking of age, in terms of dating, is it more taboo for an older woman to date a younger guy or vice versa? What's more socially acceptable? Just curious.

feelin' fine in 2009

I'm sorry it's been so long since I've posted!!! The holidays were a blur!

Quick recap:
Christmas was great! I got tons of good stuff. I got my brother a GPS system, and he got me the same thing. That was funny. Rock Band was a huge hit with the family, and lots of quality time with the family was spent. I tend to stay away from the internet world as much as I can while I'm at home. Hence, the lack of blogs in December.

New Year's was fun as well. It was pretty low-key. I cooked dinner with friends and went to the lake to watch the fireworks show. Good food, good company, good times. I'm glad it turned out this way. Usually, New Year's is a little disappointing. Okay, a lot disappointing. But, it didn't turn out so terribly this time around. Maybe it's a sign! Hopefully things start to look up!

And now, here I am! January is the official birthday month. Round one of birthdays starts on January 9 with one of my bestfriends. And don't forget mine!!!! Quarter of a century, here I come! Ugh.. hmm.. this better be a good year.

Resolutions anyone? Mine is to try not to suck so much at life this year.

I like how my goals keep getting higher and higher. haha