shaped and molded

Life has strange ways of reminding us that our time here on earth is precious and extremely short. Death is obviously the ultimate reminder. Birthdays are another. Our lives are wrapped up so intensely around our everyday problems that we really don't take enough time to live in the moment. Why is it so hard to simply be happy? Are our human minds so inept that we can't grasp and hold onto the fact that one day nothing in the world will matter except for our loved ones? How is it so difficult to be satisfied and content with what we have? As much as I'd like to live this way, I'm a hypocrite. I'm always searching for and wanting more. It's never enough. Has society permanently ingrained into my head that success is everything? Define success. Our culture, allow me to rephrase that, our American culture has defined success in terms of financial and statistical achievement. This goes hand in hand with happiness. "Money doesn't buy happiness" has always been the aphorism, but this isn't necessarily untrue. What about "mo' money, mo' problems?" I've witnessed many people happy when they encounter money, and I've seen many people weep over their loss of it. But true happiness? Who's to define that?

Again, I'm a hypocrite. I like nice things. This is no fault, and it isn't a lie. I enjoy living comfortably, and I want my family to as well. I don't need to, but I like to. Making sure my loved ones are safe and can live comfortably in a country that demands money is a goal. Not only is money a luxury, it's also become a necessity. So where's the line? When does one stop becoming greedy and say, "This is enough." Never. The only person in my life who I've ever heard say, "This is enough," is my grandfather. He's said he doesn't need anything else in his life. He's not a rich man, and he's not a poor man. He raised and took care of ten children. Nine are still alive. Maybe it was the one who passed that convinced him it was enough. Maybe it was the one who convinced all of us that being together was enough.

I wish I could be like my grandfather and be happy with my life. He's acheived everything he's ever wanted. He's learned everything he could, he raised a good family, he has a loving wife, and he's gone everywhere he's wanted to go. He's had enough, and he's ready to simply live and watch his family grow old together. We are greedy beings, aren't we? Us humans. We're always striving for more. But then again, if we didn't, what would we live for?

So I ask, what's important to you? What are the things you take pleasure in? What do you want? What do you need? Who can't you live a day without?

Oftentimes, it's when you can't get what you want that hurts the most. Maybe that's why many of us are so miserable most of the time. We are a species that always wants more. You always want what you can't have - obviously, that's why you want it. But, if we focus on what we do have, then maybe this whole life thing would be a little more bearable. Maybe.

But what do I know? I'm just a simple girl sitting at work, typing on her standard computer, staring out through her plain window, and wishing and dreaming for the same thing as everyone else. When will I become the iconoclast?