mundane tuesdays

It's been a slow 7 1/2 hours since I've last posted. It's a lethargic day at work, so I thought I'd fill you in on the miscellaneous, but interesting, events that have occurred during my absence.

First off, I hope you're not one of those "can I borrow" people. Have you ever known or been known to be the "can I borrow your *blank*" person? Everyone's known someone similar to this in grade school. Surely you have. You'd think, though, that people would grow out of it. But, no. They absolutely do not. As you may already know, I grow rather fond of people fairly quickly. This does not exclude inanimate objects. In my past, I've been known to be a bit obsessive compulsive about certain things. I just like particular things a certain way. In any case, this does not excuse people from "borrowing" my things and not returning them. I'm talking about my superior. He was visiting from our Santa Monica office, and he walks over to my desk where I have a bountiful supply of writing utensils. He sees I am busily writing in my blog from earlier today and asks, "Would you happen to have a pen I can borrow?" As mentioned, he is my superior, and here is my simple little innocent black ballpoint Bic pen sitting quietly next to my left arm not bothering a single soul. I glance quickly at the pen, and before I could think of anything else to say, I mechanically respond, "Sure, you can use mine." Again, he is my superior. He is smarter, more experienced, and richer than me, so I reason to myself, "Of course he'll bring back my pen. What a silly thing to think he wouldn't. After all, he can probably afford a pen made out of diamonds! What would he want my stupid little pen for?"

Now, you're probably wondering what's so great about my pen. In all honesty, absolutely nothing. It really is just a standard black ink pen that you can buy in a 24 pack at Walmart for $1.99. But, it's my pen! I've grown accustomed to it, and I feel like my hand's imprinted its groove into it. Yes, call me crazy. Or OCD. Or territorial. But it doesn't change the fact that it's my pen!

He left back to Santa Monica today on the American Airlines 7:40pm flight. Along with my pen. Of course. Dammit.

To make matters worse, I find a pen on his desk from the hotel that he was staying at. That martha focker had one the whole time! He left it there, possibly on purpose, as if to tease me saying, "Ha ha, I now have absolutely everything you wish you had." So yeah, I'm now pen-less, penniless, and bitter.

On a brighter note, I've been completely and utterly addicted to freerice.com. It's a website that challenges your verbal skills by asking you to choose the correct definition of a word. With every word you get right, the sponsors will donate 20 grains of rice to the United Nations World Hunger Program. I was like, "Sweet! I can be a philanthropist at my very own desk!" I start to muse about becoming the world's most intelligent humanitarian and wondering if I would be featured on the cover of TIMES or given some sort of honor like the Nobel. After answering correctly, you move up a level, and the levels go up to 60. If you get it wrong, you drop a level. I'm stuck at 41 (without cheating, thank you very much). As if I weren't bored enough, I researched and calculated how many grains of rice there are in a serving. FYI - 48 grains = 1 gram, and it takes 400 grams to feed one person for one day. Therefore, 19,200 grains of rice must be consumed, which means you'd have to get 960 words correct.

In the span of 3 work days, I've achieved 30,620 grains of rice. In three days, I've fed one and a half people. Not to mention, my IQ has probably jumped up a notch. I've discovered that most of my vocabulary stems from the media, like Harry Potter books and Family Guy (basilisk = legendary serpent, quahog = clam). My new favorite word: haberdashery. Although, that's probably tied with hemisemidemiquaver.

As if challenging my verbal skills wasn't enough, I was playing today and noticed they changed the layout of the site. AND, they added new subjects!! Chemistry, world capitals, French, FAMOUS PAINTINGS!! Dude. Game over. It's on.

Alright, it's 5:01pm. And just as I'm about to wrap things up, I kid you not, the new guy in my department just came by and asked, "Hey Janice, do you mind if I steal your stapler for just a second?"

Goodbye, stapler. Hello, insanity.