Where does one draw the line between friendship and romance? What are the boundaries when it comes to friends? And just as rules are meant to be broken, if there are lines, are they made to be crossed?
From my experience, this has always been a very touchy, dangerous subject. I've lost more friends than I care to count because of this. It's always one person who falls deeper into a "relationship" than the other, and this always causes a problem. In rare cases, I was able to stay friends with them, but usually under conditions where the person who is wanted knows but ignores it. In the other cases, the friendships had to end. Sadly, even the ones that lasted for more than 10 years aren't excluded. These friendships that I lose hurt me so much. In fact, it hurts me the most. I don't lose boyfriends. I lose bestfriends. The pain is excruciating.
So, I've come across this all-too-familiar road yet again. No matter what direction I take to avoid it, it always leads me back to the long and winding road. And despite all the signs saying "Dead End," "No Outlet," and "TURN AROUND AND GET THE F*** OUT OF HERE," I can't help but feel curious as to where the road will lead to. The map that traces my history is out of control. Picture a 2-year old trying to color in the lines of a coloring book armed with a 100-pack crayon box.
I wonder how careless I am. The reasoning behind going forward is always, "Well, we'll just see what happens. If it's nothing, then it's nothing." But that's never the case.
I hope this time I'll have the strength to do the right thing. For once, please God, help me do the right thing. I couldn't stand to lose another friend.
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