seriously, how much are leashes?

Yesterday, I got home after a long day at work, and I was completely drained. All the big shots at the company started trickling in for a huge conference this Thursday, so I was giving 110%. Anyway, I was looking forward to a quiet night of rest and relaxation. I walked slowly up the stairs of my complex contemplating on whether or not I should go work out or draw myself a bubble bath. Hmm.. or maybe both.

As I walked up the stairs to the third floor, I heard a dog barking. Gosh, I hate when dogs bark at me even from inside people's apartments. Dogs just don't like me. It's a known fact. Animals in general, I feel, have some sort of conspiracy against me, but dogs in particular sense a certain fear in me that they can't help but try to dominate. Whatever it is, there has yet to be a dog that has not tried to attack me save Buddy and Lady at my parents' home.

So I hear this dog, and as I walk up the stairs, the sound did not seem to grow fainter or closer. The bark was a deep and strong woof, so it was obviously coming from a bigger hound. It sounded like this dog was following me, so I kept looking behind me checking to see if it was on my tail. There was nothing. I ignored it and started fishing for my keys in my purse as I approached the second floor. Almost home...

I climbed the last step to my apartment when I saw my neighbor at the end of the hall come out of his apartment and walk to the other set of stairs at the opposite side. He called out below, "Hey girl! Heeey! Did you enjoy your walk?" I saw the top of a woman's head coming up the stairs, and I quickly thought to myself, "Wtf? I would slap my bf he talked to me like that!"

All of a sudden, this giant of a dog comes charging up the stairs behind her!! The monster spots me and bolts down the hall towards me. As if in one of my dreams, I am too terrified to even scream. All I can get out of my mouth is, "Oh my god. Ohmygod. Omigodomigodomigod. OH MY GOD!!!!"

In slow motion, the enormous animal (I am almost certain it was a labrador... or bear) leapt towards me, and its owner was running behind it trying to catch up screaming, "NooOOoOoooo..."

It really was like one of my nightmares. I stopped breathing. My eyes were tightly shut, and I was bracing myself for a bite on my leg or a big whack on my head when I hit the floor. The dog's nose grazed my thigh when it's owner had caught up to it. "I'm so sorry!" he said. Yeah right. "I'm really sorry. She never does that! It's okay, though. She doesn't bite."

Why do dog owners always say that? Why do they always say their dogs never bite? I can name three instances where dogs have bitten me after their owner promised their dogs have never bitten anyone before. Obviously, those dogs had yet to meet me. Every dog owner says that. "Don't worry. My dog doesn't bite." Uggghhh. If this were true, then no dogs in the world must bite!

I walked into my apartment hyperventilating and clutching my chest. After the owner dragged his dog away, I called out to him, "I'm sorry! I'm just really afraid of dogs." I was so embarrassed, but still, me apologizing to him?!? Clearly, I was not at fault. They can't expect everyone in the world to be animal lovers. And this is coming from an adamant pescetarian.

I wish all dogs could be like my shih tzus at home. All my doggies do is lay around and sleep. They only get excited when someone walks into the house, but don't all dogs? They won't jump on you or anything. They'll just run up to you, wag their tails, and smile expressing how joyous they are that you are home with them. They are so cute. Then, they go back to their room and plop down on their beds. If you ever come visit me, there is no need to be scared of them at all. Trust me, my dogs don't bite.