how to procrastinate from reality

In an attempt to self-improve this year, I forgot to mention to you that I've taken up various new hobbies. Yes, the once sheltered (and by "sheltered" I mean "never-going-out-into-the-sun-even-if-she-got-a-really-bad-rash-and-the-doctor-said-she-needed-more-UV-rays-because-her-life-depended-on-it" sheltered) girl is now the female version of Paul Bunyon.

You're looking at (or rather, reading about) the new outdoorsy me. I went camping a few weeks ago for the first time at Lake Somerville with my family. We did the whole tent thing, started a campfire, roasted smores, went fishing, sang songs... it was great. I had been telling my dad for the longest time now that we've done so many family vacations but none involving the great wilderness. Despite the fact that we were there for less than 24 hours (5pm on Saturday to 9am on Sunday - due to unforeseen weather circumstances), I was inspired. Oh, I caught a fish! My first time fishing, and I caught a fish. It was the most exciting thing I'd done in a long time. Standing on the peaceful lake was so relaxing, and when the fish caught onto my bait, I was reeling that baby in! The catfish was just a tiny little thing no longer than my forearm, so we let it go, but it was still a lot of fun. If you heard me cheering and yelling, you would've thought I won the lottery.

So, fishing - check. I went again this past weekend and caught nothing, but it was still really fun. Fishing is quckly climbing up my list of favorite things to do.

Let's see, what else have I been doing...

Ohh, I've taken up the guitar! That's coming along pretty well, too! I've gotten past the point where my fingers burn under warm water after playing for an hour. And the calluses are starting to go away, too. It's been really fun learning, and I've found myself mentally making notes of songs I hear on the radio that I want to try to play. I've gone back in time and have tried playing songs from the Beatles to Alanis Morissette. It's awesome. I love it

I've been cooking more Asian foods, too. I think I might have mentioned that. I bought an electric wok at the Williams-Sonoma outlet store, and this thing has completely changed my life. Well, my cooking life. It is the best thing ever. I've made all kinds of stir-frys and noodle dishes with it, and the food always comes out to have this smokey, charcoaled flavor to it that's restaurant-like. Delicious. It's no wonder I'm gaining so much weight.

Running has always been a favorite hobby of mine, so I've been taking that a bit more seriously as well. I ran a 10k not too long ago, and I hope to sign up for more, but with the weather getting hotter by the minute, I'm not sure how long I'll last running outside. This Texas heat is suffocating.

I took up crocheting too, but that is kind of an on-and-off project. I haven't practiced this regularly enough to really know what I'm doing. But, I've made scarves, hats, and little stuffed animals in the past. It's been pretty cool.

More recently, a girlfriend and I have started a private book club exclusively for only two members - us. Our current read: Eat Pray Love. If you happen to be reading that also or have already read it, let me know. I'd be more than happy to discuss it with you. :)

Oh, and I brush and floss three times a day now. I have my own little teeth cleaning kit at work. It's become somewhat of a ritual. Right after the market closes at 3pm, I grab my bag of dental hygiene, proceed to the ladies' room, brush, floss, rinse and brush again. There's nothing like a clean minty mouth in the middle of the afternoon. People here think I'm nuts. I say they're not far from the truth.

You know, everyone says the best thing to do when you're sad is to keep busy. Do things to occupy your mind with. Invest your time and energy into something productive. But when I really think about it, I don't think that's quite the cure for depression because whenever you're done with everything, you've only prolonged the problem. It's still there, and at the end of the day, you come right back to it. So really, how do you get rid of it?

I can only hope that the answer is time. With time, people soon forget things. We don't forget being angry or sad, but we do forget how greatly impactful those feelings were at the time. The emotional pain is eased over time, and eventually, we relax and get over it. Of course, until it happens again.

I guess all this medication and all these activities and hobbies and everything is just a way to pass the time, but it doesn't speed up any sort of process. Instead of taking the straight road, it's just choosing a more scenic route. It makes the ride a little more pleasant. But either way, the destination is still the same.

Sometimes, I wonder if these new hobbies are a form of self-improvement or self-avoidance. Is there that much of a difference between the two if you really think about it? Either way, God knows I could use a little of both.