three more days... then goodbye dfa

I can't believe it's been nearly four years since I've started at this company. I'll never forget walking into this barren office my first day on the job. Half of the office lights were turned off, all the cubicles were empty, and I was greeted by two other people, who happened to be the only two other employees. I remember thinking, "Have I made a horrible, horrible mistake?"

I was there when they broke ground for the new office. I was there when all the transferees moved from Santa Monica. I met the new hires. I met the clients. I grew close with certain coworkers and their families. And now today, I'm sitting at a desk with one of the best views of the Austin skyline. I work inside one of the most breathtaking buildings in the city, and I'm here with my friends. But, I put in my two weeks notice last week, and my last day is this coming Friday. Again, I'm back to the question, "Have I made a horrible, horrible mistake?"

Yes, it's been a great run. Yes, I've loved my job. And most importantly, I've met really amazing people and became really good friends with them. I will miss that the most. But in the end, that still wasn't not enough to keep my job. In the end, I was miserable. I can't work at a dead-end job just because I love the people here. Maybe it was ok for a while, but after seeing my friends grow, and seeing the company grow, and seeing the entire city grow, I noticed that I wasn't growing. I've grown older, of course, and maybe a little wiser, but I haven't grown in my career, and this is important to me too. Sometimes, you have step back a little to take a bigger leap.

Still, I'm going to miss everyone so much. I know I'll make new friends, but it's still hard to let go. I wish I didn't get attached so easily to people. I wish I could just peel myself off like a mailing label on an envelope. Or just file my feelings away. Har har.

Just earlier, a coworker stopped me earlier in the hall. She told me she is sad I’m leaving. Pretty standard message you tell a person when you discover he/she is leaving a company for whatever reason, right? But then, she gave me a big hug, stepped back, and had tears in her eyes! She’s a cute, fobby Asian lady who moved to Oklahoma from China with her husband and then later moved to Austin a year ago when he got a job here. I’ve talked to her before, but usually it’s just small talk, I thought. Then, she said she was sad when she heard I was moving because I was one of the only people that actually talked to her when she first started at our company. She said I was always really friendly with her, and it made her happy when she saw me because she felt comfortable to talk to me. She said she’s going to miss seeing me around the office.

I was swept with emotion. I gave her another hug and told her thank you. It made me feel good to know that I left a positive mark on this company even if it was just for one person. I mean, a huge reason why I decided to leave was because I felt unappreciated (hence, the last entry). I started feeling like I wasn't making a difference, and ever since I was young, that was what I strived for: to make a difference. This event just goes to prove what I’ve always believed in - that you never know what kind of person you’ll affect – one little gesture can make a huge difference in another person’s life. This is what I love. It's what I breathe for. This was encouraging and motivating, and it reminded me why I want to leave. Even though I've made somewhat of a mark here at the company, I know I have the potential to make a bigger one.

So, goodbye DFA. Thanks for the great times and, I suppose, the bad times, too. Without the cumulative little experiences, I wouldn't be where I am today. I'll miss everyone here. I'll miss Austin period. But I'm so, so excited about the future.

Houston, here I come!